Layman: Can you explain your job for us, please?

Stephen: Sure thing, I work for Apple Nanotech on a product called iPhoton. We use electromagnetic displacement of photons hitting the Retina, the light that enters the eye and plays on photoreceptor cells, to create images - those we see. My job is to create visually appealing graphics(the look and feel) - again, those you see when using our product. It simply works by manipulating short (blue), medium (green) and long (yellow-red) cone receptors in the Retina to produce graphics and integrating spatial mapping using vector space with GPRS information - it sounds complicated, but I just use an export plug-in for Illustrator and go to a lot of meetings.

General Questions & Answers:

Layman: "...do you have to produce the images upside down?"

Stephen: "No, I create Vector object based images - the right way up ... the software flips the image before transmitting it to the nano-receptors upside down (think of receptors as millions of pixels). like a standard visual image reflected on the Retina via the lens - this is where we introduce our visualisations - they're received by the brain using the same signals other receptors send, using the optic nerve, so ... we leave the rest for the brain to sort out..."

Layman: "Can you see in colour?"

Stephen: "Yes, because we target cone receptors, concentrated in the Fovea Centralis - we can see icons or graphics in colour. Nanocons we like to call them. Nevertheless, because we can not yet stimulate rod-receptors, those which function mainly in dim light, we use a receptor block mode, which can be switched on in low light conditions, and has optional mono-colour, blue, green etc."

Layman: " ... are there any side effects?"

Stephen: " Yes, you feel a little sea-sick for the first week, but we have a range of tablets that come with the product ... they are rather cool, they have an apple logo on them, which helps you to get adjusted..."

Layman: "Do you have to be intelligent to do your job?"

Stephen: "No, a monkey could do it, if he/she had a good eye for design and composition of cause."

Layman: "How did you get your job? ... did you go to University?"

Stephen: "Just luck I suppose - there's a five year Doctoral Programme. Nevertheless, as it happened, my father went to a weekly AA meeting with a guy whose company's contracted by Apple R&D. He took a picture in one night ... one I did in kindergarten - it's been stuck on the fridge ever since. I think the topic was something like: 'Why do you love your family, not the bottle?' I got a phone call the next day and never looked back."